Twin Mom: How I'm getting squeezed out of the nine to five job.

I wish I knew how to solve the maternity leave and child care issues that plague modern mothers. We are not given paid maternity leave unless our employer offers it and our school system has perverse hours that don't match up to the 9-5 work day in any sense. Good luck if you have kids of varying ages because little Billy's elementary school is from 8-3, Sally's Middle School is from 9-4, and Jimmy's High School is from 7-2pm. Also, don't forget all the school holidays, summer break, winter break, spring break, early release days, and teacher work days! You work a nine to five schedule and get only the basic of holidays off so how in the world will this work?

I took three months off when my girls were born. They came early and we were put in the hospital for a while after birth. On top of some very expensive medical bills I had to go unpaid for two months. I used my sick and vacation days to pay for one month. Unfortunately, I didn't realize how sick kids get when they start daycare. I was out of sick days but the girls kept getting sent home with fevers, the stomach flu, rashes, and looking at the daycare worker the wrong way (not true but it sure felt that way!). After being sent home the child has to be quarantined for 24 hours as part of the daycare policy. My family and I tag teamed sick days but my days were going unpaid. For some illnesses I had to visit my pediatrician and get a release note to be allowed to bring the girl back to daycare. On top of not getting paid on those days I had to pay the doctor a copay and there was usually some medicine I had to buy. When the girls were sent home I was still expected to pay for childcare services. I was caring for my children at home while paying the daycare their usual fess and not getting paid myself. After the twins were over their illness I usually caught it right afterwards. Then I needed a day off, a visit to the doctor, and medication. An unsuspecting family member would take care of the girls while I recovered only to be stricken with the same illness the next day. We called it the Baby Plague. This game has been going on for 11 months and we are all very tired of it.

Now lets say that by the grace of God we are having a normal illness free day. Luckily, daycare hours accommodate working hours so I don't have to pull a magic act to pick up kids during public school hours. When I finish my work day I have the following to accomplish: grocery shop, pick up the girls from daycare, cook dinner, feed babies, feed myself, wash dishes, pack four lunches, bath two babies, rock two babies to sleep, do laundry, pick up toys, and pass out from exhaustion. My husband does help but much of his time is spent keeping the girls out of my way so I can get everything done. I spend my days working so I can afford daycare to raise my children and then came home only to do chores to prepare for the next working day. Oh, Sisyphus I feel your pain. 

Money and time is getting scarce but I have few choices available to me. I could push through the daily grind and hope to get a raise before my credit is ruined. I could search for a higher paying job where I will work like a machine and need to hire a nanny. Or I could quit my job to raise my girls at home and we will need to give up some comforts like take-out food, soft toilet paper, and Netflix. This would sound like a no brainier for most but it's not easy giving up the security of a two income family. Both parents have health insurance, retirement options, and predictable paychecks. A one income family is at the mercy of the that one job. A lay off hurts much worse when there's no other cash flow coming in.

My awesome plan that will solve all my problems:

1. Win the lottery.
2. Quit my job.
3. Get pregnant with another set of twins.
4. Raise my four babies myself (with the help of a live in nanny or two).
5. Live the rest of my years traveling around the world with my large family.

Twin Mad Money: How I make extra cash on the side.

Babies are expensive and twins can put a huge strain on your budget. Here are my side hustles that fund my mad money piggy bank.

Amazon Mechanical Turk - Crowd-sourcing Marketplace: 
Amazon Turk is free to sign up and you don't need to do any tests to start working. You will be given a long list of small tasks like verifying receipt dates, captioning photos, and transcribing data. There are a ton of tasks available and most are simple. Payment also varies from $0.01 to $200 but the higher paying jobs could take you weeks to complete. It is easy to cash out especially if you're willing to get paid in Amazon points. You won't make a ton of cash with this program but it's quick cash.

Media Insiders - Phone App:
This is a great source of passive income. You download the app on a maximum of three mobile devices and one computer. The more device tracking the better because you get paid extra for each device. You can also earn more by allowing a VPN connection and social media tracking. Sometimes the company sends me surveys that pay $3 on average. That's like gold compared to most paid surveys online. They also give you $5 loyalty bonuses for being active for a long time. You cash in your points through their Perk Points services which has been very reliable. I have redeemed points for restaurant gift cards, Amazon gift cards, and Paypal direct deposits. If you don't mind this service spying on your TV viewing habits then this is an easy source of consistent cash.

Slidejoy - Phone App: 
This is a free app you can download on Android devices. It places adds on your lock screen and you have to swipe the ad off to unlock your phone. Every swipe translates to cash but don't try swiping over and over because the app catches on to unnatural swiping. This is another great source of passive income. I don't even notice the ads anymore but I do notice the average $4 a month. This might not seem like much but this is pretty good considering you're not doing anything. Payments can be slow. Your first reimbursement might take three months but then you will receive a reliable monthly payment. You can cash your points for Paypal deposits, gift cards, or Amazon credit.

LionBridge - Search Engine Evaluator: 
I worked for LionBridge for three months as a Internet Assessor while I was on maternity leave. This company could be a great part-time job paying $14.50+ an hour. The application process in grueling. You have to go through a detailed online application, followed by a ton of training videos, followed by a tough test. Once you are accepted there is more training to go through and many people get discouraged by the constant push the company has on training programs. I joined when the company had a high demand in tasks so they were offering a hefty amount of bonus opportunities. They paid me for the time it took to get through the test as well as for additional hours that exceeded my original contract. The work can get monotonous but they usually offer a variety of tasks to complete. My job was to rate webpage quality and give my opinion on the page content. All work is done by a remote computer connection and some workers have the option of using their phone. Keep in mind that you are an independent contractor with this company so you have to pay taxes at the end of the year on your wages. Payments are deposited right into your bank account and I never had an issue with this.

TextBroker - Content Farm:
Whenever I want to make some extra mad money for a new pair of shoes I'll write some articles for TextBroker. To become a member you have to write a test article and the company will rate your skills. Your star skill rating will determine your starting per word pay. I have never had problems finding work on this website and by writing a lot for them my star rating has gone up meaning I'm paid more per word. Article topics vary from health advice to product reviews but you need to pay attention to the order instructions. Sometimes you have to meet a specific key work count. Payment has been reliable and can be done through Paypal once your balance exceeds $10.

Receipt Hog - Phone App:
I have not made much money through Receipt Hog but the cute app has been fun so I've toughed through the service for two months now. Basically after you go grocery shopping you take a picture of your receipt to earn points. You can also take pictures of other shopping receipts to earn a slot machine pull. The slot machine has point prizes but I've been very unlucky with the game. I have had some trouble with the app reading my receipt totals and dates incorrectly but the company is quick to fix mistakes. You can redeem your points with Paypal or with Amazon gift cards.

MyPoints - Get Paid for Shopping Online:
I do a lot of online shopping and have actually made a good chunk of change through this service. Once you sign up you have a couple of options to make points. You can download an add-on to your browser that tracks your online purchases and awards you a percentage of your purchase. You can also shop featured deals through their website and earn points. They also offer points for using coupons, using their browser, and taking surveys. I already use the coupon.com service which you can use through MyPoints which will earn you extra points. All of my Amazon and ToysRUs online purchases earned me over $50 last Christmas. You can redeem your points for various gift cards for places like Amazon.com and Walmart.

My Failed Side Hustles

Some of my experiments have failed and I think it's important to list them so you won't waste your time on them.

Pyramid schemes: 
I know many "consultants" are not going to be happy with my opinion on this matter but this is my experience with multilevel marketing. I'm going to lump all of these mom traps into one category including The Pampered Chef, PartyLite, Mary Kay, Avon, Shakeology, It Works, Pure Romance, Jamberry, Princess House, Beachbody, Nu Skin, and many many more. I'm not going to tell you which ones I've tried because they are all the same. The biggest problems I came across with these companies was the high upfront costs and running out of customers. I would make some sales at first by selling to family and friends but they eventually got tired of my business pitch. I was also encouraged to sign people up to join my sales force but then everyone I knew was a salesperson and we had no customers. The parties I was told to throw cost me more than the amount I actually sold. Some companies required me to buy my product upfront and then I was responsible for the sales. This caused me to be stuck with a lot of make-up. I also had issues with my contacts who were responsible for fulfilling my sales orders. Some contacts were unreliable and I had to dole out refunds when they dropped the ball. These programs caused me more stress than they're worth and they also put a strain on my relationships with people. My friends and family often felt pressured to buy my products and some felt exploited. In the future if I want to be an entrepreneur then I'll be a true one with my own business and product. At least then all the stress will produce a profit that is 100% mine.

Surveys for Cash:
There are many online services that offer cash for taking lengthy surveys. Some I've tried are InBox Dollars, I-Say, and My Survey. My biggest frustration is that I'll answer 15 questions only to be told that I don't qualify for the survey and will not receive my points. Another problem is that I'll spend an hour answering questions but can not receive my points unless I agree to "one of the following" offers. Usually, these offers require me to purchase something. Payouts can also be a problem because the companies require that I have at least $30+ dollars in order to cash out. It would take me months to make $30 off of surveys that pay $0.02 each.

Twin Labeling: Why I hate it!

Who is the smart one, the stupid one, the fat one, the mean one, the bossy one, the good one, the quiet one, the happy one, the bad one? I could go on and on. For some reason people love to label twins. They like to assign a good twin and a bad twin. Twins are not Bizarro World come alive and this is not Man in the Iron Mask. Life is not black and white and neither are my girls. Yes, they have very different personalities but their moods change and evolve just like any child. If Peanut has a tantrum because the dog took her ball she should not be labeled the "temperamental twin". Some of my family members had labeled Cookie the good girl because someone put it in their head that she was easier going than her sister. They started calling whichever girl was crying Peanut because they assumed that the fussy one must be Peanut. In reality the girls take turns with their moods. People are being very unfair by labeling twins and could cause some serious complexes some day. If you label Peanut as the bad girl than maybe she'll start to believe that herself. Children take what adults say very seriously and words can hurt even if they were meant as a joke. 

Another problem I unfortunately came across was people labeling one twin as fat and sweet while the other was skinny and hyper. Cookie was born slightly larger than her sister and her head is shaped rounder which gives the illusion that she is bigger. Cookie is 0.3 lb heavier than Peanut but they are the same height and their heads measure the same circumference. 0.3 lbs does not make you the fat twin! I was shocked that adults would weight shame babies. They would squeal "chubby!" when they saw Cookie and chuckle "grumpy" when they saw Peanut. I put a stop to that right away and I don't care if I'm labeled "bitchy" because of it! Twins go through phases and moods just like any child. Some days Cookie is feeling hyper and sociable. Sometimes Peanut eats everything in sight and begs for more. Stop searching for a personality trait to label because one trait can not define a person. We should treat twins as individuals and not as two halves of a whole.

Horror Story: My mother showed a lady a picture of the girls playing on my computer tablet. The lady pointed to Cookie who was not interacting with the tablet in the picture and asked, "Is she the slow one?" Yes, just because the child in the picture happened to not be touching the computer screen at that very second she must be the dumb twin. Wonderful deduction skills lady. I bet you scored high on your SAT. People must think that when twins are conceived all the brains are given to one because there are only so much smarts to go around. 

Trait distribution chart based on other peoples opinions of my twins:

Weight 80% 20%

Brains 95% 5%

Beauty: 10% 90%

Height: 50% 50% 

Pretty Smile 30% 70%

Personality 30% 70%

Heart Breaker (???) 0% 100%

Five things you should never say to a mother of twins.

I understand that twins are a novelty but they are not an excuse to have mouth diarrhea. They do not give people the right to touch them without their parent's permission. They do not open the floor for criticism or advice. Also understand that sometimes a twin mom just wants to get her grocery shopping done without recounting her entire birth story to a curious stranger. Here are five things you should keep to yourself when encountering a mother of twins.

1. "You look tired. You must have your hands full!" I get this every time I take the girls out somewhere. I get this comment even when I'm not tired and the girls are behaving well! No one likes to be told that they look tired. You may as well say, "You have bags under your eyes, you look old, and your hair is all over the place." 
2. "My friend has kids around the same age as your girls and they do just fine." Someone hurled this comment at me after a particularly long day of coddling two toddlers with high fevers and I could have spit fire. Sure having more than one kid in the house is harder than one but it is also very different than having two of the same age. Also, everyone's situation is different and it is unfair to compare any one family situation to another.  
3. "Did you want girls? Were you disappointed?" My usual response is that I wanted blue cats with red noses. I've noticed that mothers with boys often ask this and I'm not sure why. The real answer is that I wanted a healthy baby and I was so blessed that I got two! 
4. "Were they natural? Did you take hormones?" I'm not sure what it is about twins that gives strangers the right to ask such personal questions. It is no ones business how my girls were conceived and it is rude for strangers to ask.
5. "You are in for it now! You will never sleep again. Kiss your freedom goodbye." I got comments like these a lot when I was pregnant. People are trying to be funny but this is actually an awful thing to say to a pregnant mom. A pregnant mother of twins has double the hormones, double the doctors appointments, and double the worry. When you see a pregnant twin mom why not say, "You are so blessed! You are in for a lot of giggles. Get ready for the ride of your life."

Three Rules for Baby Twin Fights

  Peanut is happily playing with a straw she stole from my cup. It's bendy, tastes like Root Beer, and it's fun to poke the dog with. Cookie notices the treasure and plucks it from Peanut's grasp. Peanut screams and pushes Cookie from behind causing them both to fall on the tile floor. They both cry red faced and angry.
  I was not prepared for twin baby fights. How could such a small precious baby be so mean and spiteful?!? Babies are selfish beings. This is a huge problem when there are two Napoleons in your house. My girls seem to have a big problem with sharing toys and sharing me. Here are the house rules my husband and I developed to handle baby battles.

1. Discourage taking.

We tried buying two of everything to avoid sharing issues. Unfortunately, you could have three of the same toy and twins would still fight over just one of them. I think this is because an object seems really fun when someone else is enjoying it. If Cookie snatches a ball from Peanut then we calmly tell Cookie, "No, sister had the ball first and you shouldn't take it from her." Then we give Peanut back the ball. This can cause a small tantrum but we found that redirection is best at this point. I can usually get Cookie interested in another toy and she forgets about her original target.  

2. Encourage sharing.

The sharing game has become a big hit. For instance, if Peanut had a doll then I would ask her if I could see it and reach my hand out towards the doll. At first she would dart away from me because she didn't want to give up her toy. I kept asking for toys all day long until curiosity won out and Peanut gave me a cup she was playing with. I smiled really big and thanked her for sharing. I admired the cup briefly and handed it back to her. Both girls caught on quick to this game. Soon I was given dolls, balls, hair, half eaten cookies, invisible objects, and socks. Each time I thanked them and praised them for sharing. This has also come in handy when a girl has something I don't want her having. I just ask for the lovely used band-aid Cookie found in the grass and she hands it over without a fight.

3. Physical fights are non-negotiable.

Once a disagreement turns physical we put the breaks on the situation. After the first punch, kick, push, slap, bite, or glass shattering scream I separate the girls and tell them in a calm yet firm voice, "No, we do not act this way." Then I put whatever was causing the fight away so that no one can play with it. If the girls throw a tantrum then I let them cool down alone for a few minutes. Once they show signs of being over the situation I redirect their attention to another toy or game. If you're noticing an influx of fights then they might be hungry or tired. A graham cracker and some juice does wonders for my girl's moods!

About to fight over a tablet.