Three Rules for Baby Twin Fights

  Peanut is happily playing with a straw she stole from my cup. It's bendy, tastes like Root Beer, and it's fun to poke the dog with. Cookie notices the treasure and plucks it from Peanut's grasp. Peanut screams and pushes Cookie from behind causing them both to fall on the tile floor. They both cry red faced and angry.
  I was not prepared for twin baby fights. How could such a small precious baby be so mean and spiteful?!? Babies are selfish beings. This is a huge problem when there are two Napoleons in your house. My girls seem to have a big problem with sharing toys and sharing me. Here are the house rules my husband and I developed to handle baby battles.

1. Discourage taking.

We tried buying two of everything to avoid sharing issues. Unfortunately, you could have three of the same toy and twins would still fight over just one of them. I think this is because an object seems really fun when someone else is enjoying it. If Cookie snatches a ball from Peanut then we calmly tell Cookie, "No, sister had the ball first and you shouldn't take it from her." Then we give Peanut back the ball. This can cause a small tantrum but we found that redirection is best at this point. I can usually get Cookie interested in another toy and she forgets about her original target.  

2. Encourage sharing.

The sharing game has become a big hit. For instance, if Peanut had a doll then I would ask her if I could see it and reach my hand out towards the doll. At first she would dart away from me because she didn't want to give up her toy. I kept asking for toys all day long until curiosity won out and Peanut gave me a cup she was playing with. I smiled really big and thanked her for sharing. I admired the cup briefly and handed it back to her. Both girls caught on quick to this game. Soon I was given dolls, balls, hair, half eaten cookies, invisible objects, and socks. Each time I thanked them and praised them for sharing. This has also come in handy when a girl has something I don't want her having. I just ask for the lovely used band-aid Cookie found in the grass and she hands it over without a fight.

3. Physical fights are non-negotiable.

Once a disagreement turns physical we put the breaks on the situation. After the first punch, kick, push, slap, bite, or glass shattering scream I separate the girls and tell them in a calm yet firm voice, "No, we do not act this way." Then I put whatever was causing the fight away so that no one can play with it. If the girls throw a tantrum then I let them cool down alone for a few minutes. Once they show signs of being over the situation I redirect their attention to another toy or game. If you're noticing an influx of fights then they might be hungry or tired. A graham cracker and some juice does wonders for my girl's moods!

About to fight over a tablet.