5 Ways to save money with twins.

Saving money is hard to do when your family doubles over night like mine did. You have double the diapers, double the formula, and double the medical bills. Patience and creativity are the key to handling the finances of a twin household. Here are 10 ways we've learned to save money.

1. Sign up for free samples and coupons on baby products you use a lot. Infant preemie formula nearly broke our bank account. The cans are smaller than most and they cost twice as much as regular formula but our doctor insisted we use it. I searched baby product websites like Pampers, Similac, Gerber, and Enfamil and signed up for their email newsletters. A lot of the time the companies emailed me coupons to print out. Many websites also offered free samples and all of the free samples were mailed with coupons attached. I would wait for my grocery store to have a sale on formula and then stacked my manufacturers coupons for great savings.
2. You don't need two of EVERYTHING! I made the mistake of buying two of every toy, two of all the outfits, and two of every baby gadget. I rarely actually dress the girls alike mainly because it's hard to coordinate babies who can ruin an outfit within seconds. For Independence Day I had both girls in cute matching Minnie outfits but Peanut spit up on hers on the way out the door. The same thing happened for Easter when Cookie decided to sit in the dog dish. Also, our laundry schedule is crazy and it's too hard to pick out all the matching outfits to make sure they're washed at the same time. Toys rarely get played with at the same time too. I thought having two of every toy meant less fighting but the girls will fight over the same pink ball no matter if I had ten of them.
3. Simpler is better. I bought 5 different types of bottles when the girls were born hoping one would solve their early reflux issues. I had fancy Dr. Brown bottles that consisted of five parts you had to fit together as well as oddly shaped Tommie Tippy bottles that didn't fit my bottle warmer. In the end it didn't matter which bottle I used. The girls spit up anyway. They eventually outgrew the reflux and the bottles that stood the test of time came from the dollar store. The simple bottles were easier to clean and lasted longer. This held true for sippy cups too.
4. Wash hands, sanitize often, and don't share food. Medical bills are wrecking my budget. The twins get sick from daycare and spread the germs to my entire family. Every doctor's visit costs us a $40 copay and each visit comes with an array of lab tests. You also have to factor in the costs of antibiotics, fever reducers, cough syrup, and various rash cremes. While I can't control what germs the girls pick up in daycare I can control what they bring home. Everyday when the twins get home from daycare I wash their hands, Lysol their book bags, and wipe down their faces. Something that I'm working on is trying to protect myself from their germs when they're sick. This can be hard when those little toddler hands find their way onto your dinner plate or when Cookie shoves her half eaten cracker onto your lips. She's going though a phase where she wants everyone to try her snacks. I'm hoping all our immune systems will be iron clad by the time kindergarten rolls around.
5.  Don't buy expensive twin gadgets. Baby products made for twins might seem like they'll make life easier but they usually end in buyers remorse. Twin products are very expensive and I've been burnt by a couple of info ads. The twin grocery cart cover seemed like a great idea until I realized that most store carts do not accommodate two babies. I also got the twin breast feeding pillow which ended in a lot of frustration and tears. I almost bought the twin carrier sling until I realized how heavy and hot it would be to backpack two babies to me. 

Five reasons couponing is not for my family.

I keep falling into the coupon trap. It usually starts with an Extreme Couponers episode where I envy the $5 receipt for $600 worth of groceries. My family's food bill takes a huge chunk of our budget and I'm always battling to keep it in check. Unfortunately, home cooked dinners just don't happen every day. Either traffic was horrible and everyone doesn't get home until 7pm causing baby hunger tantrums or I have a nasty flu and can't sum up the energy to cook. I have turned to couponing a couple of times in hopes of offsetting our grocery bill to accommodate the occasional take out meal. Coupons are not for me and here's why.

1. They tempt me to buy junk food I wouldn't normally eat. My couponing binges usually end with my kitchen full of chips, soda, and cookies. The majority of "good deals" in my Sunday paper consist of high calorie treats. I am a soda addict who has to keep her caffeine addiction in check. For years we didn't keep soda in the house and I only had it at the movie theater on occasion. I couldn't resist the BOGO soda call and my pants quickly showed the results of my coupon stacking. 
2. It takes a lot of time to coupon. You have to find the coupons, cut them out, sort them, figure out how they can stack against other sales, read up on store coupon policy, and plan how to incorporate the deal into your weekly meal plan. I was pulling my hair out trying to put together a coupon plan book. I'm a very organized person but I'm also a very busy person who hates to waste time. Couponing was like having a full time job and I already have one of those. 
3. My Sunday newspaper costs more than the savings I made from coupons in it. My Sunday paper costs about $2 a week. My paper was bloated with retail ads and only had two tiny grocery coupon inserts. Some weeks I cut no coupons at all. I know some people get around this by searching recycling bins or buying old papers in bulk on couponing websites but this adds more time and effort into the coupon monster. 
4. There's more to check than just the Sunday paper. To thoroughly coupon you must check not only your local newspaper but also manufacturer online coupons, in-store sales ads, your store's mail ads, your store's online digital coupons, your store's competitor coupons, competitor prices, and your folder of previously clipped coupons that you archived for later use. This is how you can stack sales and it takes a lot of concentration and effort.
5. I end up with too much of the same products. I have five containers of the same hair gel and I'm so sick of using it. I don't even like the product that much but it was BOGO and I had store coupons as well as manufacturers coupons. I'm also over the smell of my deodorant but I have six sticks left! It's nice to have your own personal grocery but it's also nice to be able to buy something different from time to time. I feel too guilty buying another hair conditioner when I have two bottles left (first world problems). 

I envy the people who make couponing work for their families. Unfortunately, coupons tempt me to buy more than I want and they take up too much of my time. I'll stick to the basic store sales ads and might clip some digital coupons to my store card but that's all I can handle.

Twin Mom: How I'm getting squeezed out of the nine to five job.

I wish I knew how to solve the maternity leave and child care issues that plague modern mothers. We are not given paid maternity leave unless our employer offers it and our school system has perverse hours that don't match up to the 9-5 work day in any sense. Good luck if you have kids of varying ages because little Billy's elementary school is from 8-3, Sally's Middle School is from 9-4, and Jimmy's High School is from 7-2pm. Also, don't forget all the school holidays, summer break, winter break, spring break, early release days, and teacher work days! You work a nine to five schedule and get only the basic of holidays off so how in the world will this work?

I took three months off when my girls were born. They came early and we were put in the hospital for a while after birth. On top of some very expensive medical bills I had to go unpaid for two months. I used my sick and vacation days to pay for one month. Unfortunately, I didn't realize how sick kids get when they start daycare. I was out of sick days but the girls kept getting sent home with fevers, the stomach flu, rashes, and looking at the daycare worker the wrong way (not true but it sure felt that way!). After being sent home the child has to be quarantined for 24 hours as part of the daycare policy. My family and I tag teamed sick days but my days were going unpaid. For some illnesses I had to visit my pediatrician and get a release note to be allowed to bring the girl back to daycare. On top of not getting paid on those days I had to pay the doctor a copay and there was usually some medicine I had to buy. When the girls were sent home I was still expected to pay for childcare services. I was caring for my children at home while paying the daycare their usual fess and not getting paid myself. After the twins were over their illness I usually caught it right afterwards. Then I needed a day off, a visit to the doctor, and medication. An unsuspecting family member would take care of the girls while I recovered only to be stricken with the same illness the next day. We called it the Baby Plague. This game has been going on for 11 months and we are all very tired of it.

Now lets say that by the grace of God we are having a normal illness free day. Luckily, daycare hours accommodate working hours so I don't have to pull a magic act to pick up kids during public school hours. When I finish my work day I have the following to accomplish: grocery shop, pick up the girls from daycare, cook dinner, feed babies, feed myself, wash dishes, pack four lunches, bath two babies, rock two babies to sleep, do laundry, pick up toys, and pass out from exhaustion. My husband does help but much of his time is spent keeping the girls out of my way so I can get everything done. I spend my days working so I can afford daycare to raise my children and then came home only to do chores to prepare for the next working day. Oh, Sisyphus I feel your pain. 

Money and time is getting scarce but I have few choices available to me. I could push through the daily grind and hope to get a raise before my credit is ruined. I could search for a higher paying job where I will work like a machine and need to hire a nanny. Or I could quit my job to raise my girls at home and we will need to give up some comforts like take-out food, soft toilet paper, and Netflix. This would sound like a no brainier for most but it's not easy giving up the security of a two income family. Both parents have health insurance, retirement options, and predictable paychecks. A one income family is at the mercy of the that one job. A lay off hurts much worse when there's no other cash flow coming in.

My awesome plan that will solve all my problems:

1. Win the lottery.
2. Quit my job.
3. Get pregnant with another set of twins.
4. Raise my four babies myself (with the help of a live in nanny or two).
5. Live the rest of my years traveling around the world with my large family.

Twin Mad Money: How I make extra cash on the side.

Babies are expensive and twins can put a huge strain on your budget. Here are my side hustles that fund my mad money piggy bank.

Amazon Mechanical Turk - Crowd-sourcing Marketplace: 
Amazon Turk is free to sign up and you don't need to do any tests to start working. You will be given a long list of small tasks like verifying receipt dates, captioning photos, and transcribing data. There are a ton of tasks available and most are simple. Payment also varies from $0.01 to $200 but the higher paying jobs could take you weeks to complete. It is easy to cash out especially if you're willing to get paid in Amazon points. You won't make a ton of cash with this program but it's quick cash.

Media Insiders - Phone App:
This is a great source of passive income. You download the app on a maximum of three mobile devices and one computer. The more device tracking the better because you get paid extra for each device. You can also earn more by allowing a VPN connection and social media tracking. Sometimes the company sends me surveys that pay $3 on average. That's like gold compared to most paid surveys online. They also give you $5 loyalty bonuses for being active for a long time. You cash in your points through their Perk Points services which has been very reliable. I have redeemed points for restaurant gift cards, Amazon gift cards, and Paypal direct deposits. If you don't mind this service spying on your TV viewing habits then this is an easy source of consistent cash.

Slidejoy - Phone App: 
This is a free app you can download on Android devices. It places adds on your lock screen and you have to swipe the ad off to unlock your phone. Every swipe translates to cash but don't try swiping over and over because the app catches on to unnatural swiping. This is another great source of passive income. I don't even notice the ads anymore but I do notice the average $4 a month. This might not seem like much but this is pretty good considering you're not doing anything. Payments can be slow. Your first reimbursement might take three months but then you will receive a reliable monthly payment. You can cash your points for Paypal deposits, gift cards, or Amazon credit.

LionBridge - Search Engine Evaluator: 
I worked for LionBridge for three months as a Internet Assessor while I was on maternity leave. This company could be a great part-time job paying $14.50+ an hour. The application process in grueling. You have to go through a detailed online application, followed by a ton of training videos, followed by a tough test. Once you are accepted there is more training to go through and many people get discouraged by the constant push the company has on training programs. I joined when the company had a high demand in tasks so they were offering a hefty amount of bonus opportunities. They paid me for the time it took to get through the test as well as for additional hours that exceeded my original contract. The work can get monotonous but they usually offer a variety of tasks to complete. My job was to rate webpage quality and give my opinion on the page content. All work is done by a remote computer connection and some workers have the option of using their phone. Keep in mind that you are an independent contractor with this company so you have to pay taxes at the end of the year on your wages. Payments are deposited right into your bank account and I never had an issue with this.

TextBroker - Content Farm:
Whenever I want to make some extra mad money for a new pair of shoes I'll write some articles for TextBroker. To become a member you have to write a test article and the company will rate your skills. Your star skill rating will determine your starting per word pay. I have never had problems finding work on this website and by writing a lot for them my star rating has gone up meaning I'm paid more per word. Article topics vary from health advice to product reviews but you need to pay attention to the order instructions. Sometimes you have to meet a specific key work count. Payment has been reliable and can be done through Paypal once your balance exceeds $10.

Receipt Hog - Phone App:
I have not made much money through Receipt Hog but the cute app has been fun so I've toughed through the service for two months now. Basically after you go grocery shopping you take a picture of your receipt to earn points. You can also take pictures of other shopping receipts to earn a slot machine pull. The slot machine has point prizes but I've been very unlucky with the game. I have had some trouble with the app reading my receipt totals and dates incorrectly but the company is quick to fix mistakes. You can redeem your points with Paypal or with Amazon gift cards.

MyPoints - Get Paid for Shopping Online:
I do a lot of online shopping and have actually made a good chunk of change through this service. Once you sign up you have a couple of options to make points. You can download an add-on to your browser that tracks your online purchases and awards you a percentage of your purchase. You can also shop featured deals through their website and earn points. They also offer points for using coupons, using their browser, and taking surveys. I already use the coupon.com service which you can use through MyPoints which will earn you extra points. All of my Amazon and ToysRUs online purchases earned me over $50 last Christmas. You can redeem your points for various gift cards for places like Amazon.com and Walmart.

My Failed Side Hustles

Some of my experiments have failed and I think it's important to list them so you won't waste your time on them.

Pyramid schemes: 
I know many "consultants" are not going to be happy with my opinion on this matter but this is my experience with multilevel marketing. I'm going to lump all of these mom traps into one category including The Pampered Chef, PartyLite, Mary Kay, Avon, Shakeology, It Works, Pure Romance, Jamberry, Princess House, Beachbody, Nu Skin, and many many more. I'm not going to tell you which ones I've tried because they are all the same. The biggest problems I came across with these companies was the high upfront costs and running out of customers. I would make some sales at first by selling to family and friends but they eventually got tired of my business pitch. I was also encouraged to sign people up to join my sales force but then everyone I knew was a salesperson and we had no customers. The parties I was told to throw cost me more than the amount I actually sold. Some companies required me to buy my product upfront and then I was responsible for the sales. This caused me to be stuck with a lot of make-up. I also had issues with my contacts who were responsible for fulfilling my sales orders. Some contacts were unreliable and I had to dole out refunds when they dropped the ball. These programs caused me more stress than they're worth and they also put a strain on my relationships with people. My friends and family often felt pressured to buy my products and some felt exploited. In the future if I want to be an entrepreneur then I'll be a true one with my own business and product. At least then all the stress will produce a profit that is 100% mine.

Surveys for Cash:
There are many online services that offer cash for taking lengthy surveys. Some I've tried are InBox Dollars, I-Say, and My Survey. My biggest frustration is that I'll answer 15 questions only to be told that I don't qualify for the survey and will not receive my points. Another problem is that I'll spend an hour answering questions but can not receive my points unless I agree to "one of the following" offers. Usually, these offers require me to purchase something. Payouts can also be a problem because the companies require that I have at least $30+ dollars in order to cash out. It would take me months to make $30 off of surveys that pay $0.02 each.

Twin Labeling: Why I hate it!

Who is the smart one, the stupid one, the fat one, the mean one, the bossy one, the good one, the quiet one, the happy one, the bad one? I could go on and on. For some reason people love to label twins. They like to assign a good twin and a bad twin. Twins are not Bizarro World come alive and this is not Man in the Iron Mask. Life is not black and white and neither are my girls. Yes, they have very different personalities but their moods change and evolve just like any child. If Peanut has a tantrum because the dog took her ball she should not be labeled the "temperamental twin". Some of my family members had labeled Cookie the good girl because someone put it in their head that she was easier going than her sister. They started calling whichever girl was crying Peanut because they assumed that the fussy one must be Peanut. In reality the girls take turns with their moods. People are being very unfair by labeling twins and could cause some serious complexes some day. If you label Peanut as the bad girl than maybe she'll start to believe that herself. Children take what adults say very seriously and words can hurt even if they were meant as a joke. 

Another problem I unfortunately came across was people labeling one twin as fat and sweet while the other was skinny and hyper. Cookie was born slightly larger than her sister and her head is shaped rounder which gives the illusion that she is bigger. Cookie is 0.3 lb heavier than Peanut but they are the same height and their heads measure the same circumference. 0.3 lbs does not make you the fat twin! I was shocked that adults would weight shame babies. They would squeal "chubby!" when they saw Cookie and chuckle "grumpy" when they saw Peanut. I put a stop to that right away and I don't care if I'm labeled "bitchy" because of it! Twins go through phases and moods just like any child. Some days Cookie is feeling hyper and sociable. Sometimes Peanut eats everything in sight and begs for more. Stop searching for a personality trait to label because one trait can not define a person. We should treat twins as individuals and not as two halves of a whole.

Horror Story: My mother showed a lady a picture of the girls playing on my computer tablet. The lady pointed to Cookie who was not interacting with the tablet in the picture and asked, "Is she the slow one?" Yes, just because the child in the picture happened to not be touching the computer screen at that very second she must be the dumb twin. Wonderful deduction skills lady. I bet you scored high on your SAT. People must think that when twins are conceived all the brains are given to one because there are only so much smarts to go around. 

Trait distribution chart based on other peoples opinions of my twins:

Weight 80% 20%

Brains 95% 5%

Beauty: 10% 90%

Height: 50% 50% 

Pretty Smile 30% 70%

Personality 30% 70%

Heart Breaker (???) 0% 100%

Five things you should never say to a mother of twins.

I understand that twins are a novelty but they are not an excuse to have mouth diarrhea. They do not give people the right to touch them without their parent's permission. They do not open the floor for criticism or advice. Also understand that sometimes a twin mom just wants to get her grocery shopping done without recounting her entire birth story to a curious stranger. Here are five things you should keep to yourself when encountering a mother of twins.

1. "You look tired. You must have your hands full!" I get this every time I take the girls out somewhere. I get this comment even when I'm not tired and the girls are behaving well! No one likes to be told that they look tired. You may as well say, "You have bags under your eyes, you look old, and your hair is all over the place." 
2. "My friend has kids around the same age as your girls and they do just fine." Someone hurled this comment at me after a particularly long day of coddling two toddlers with high fevers and I could have spit fire. Sure having more than one kid in the house is harder than one but it is also very different than having two of the same age. Also, everyone's situation is different and it is unfair to compare any one family situation to another.  
3. "Did you want girls? Were you disappointed?" My usual response is that I wanted blue cats with red noses. I've noticed that mothers with boys often ask this and I'm not sure why. The real answer is that I wanted a healthy baby and I was so blessed that I got two! 
4. "Were they natural? Did you take hormones?" I'm not sure what it is about twins that gives strangers the right to ask such personal questions. It is no ones business how my girls were conceived and it is rude for strangers to ask.
5. "You are in for it now! You will never sleep again. Kiss your freedom goodbye." I got comments like these a lot when I was pregnant. People are trying to be funny but this is actually an awful thing to say to a pregnant mom. A pregnant mother of twins has double the hormones, double the doctors appointments, and double the worry. When you see a pregnant twin mom why not say, "You are so blessed! You are in for a lot of giggles. Get ready for the ride of your life."

Three Rules for Baby Twin Fights

  Peanut is happily playing with a straw she stole from my cup. It's bendy, tastes like Root Beer, and it's fun to poke the dog with. Cookie notices the treasure and plucks it from Peanut's grasp. Peanut screams and pushes Cookie from behind causing them both to fall on the tile floor. They both cry red faced and angry.
  I was not prepared for twin baby fights. How could such a small precious baby be so mean and spiteful?!? Babies are selfish beings. This is a huge problem when there are two Napoleons in your house. My girls seem to have a big problem with sharing toys and sharing me. Here are the house rules my husband and I developed to handle baby battles.

1. Discourage taking.

We tried buying two of everything to avoid sharing issues. Unfortunately, you could have three of the same toy and twins would still fight over just one of them. I think this is because an object seems really fun when someone else is enjoying it. If Cookie snatches a ball from Peanut then we calmly tell Cookie, "No, sister had the ball first and you shouldn't take it from her." Then we give Peanut back the ball. This can cause a small tantrum but we found that redirection is best at this point. I can usually get Cookie interested in another toy and she forgets about her original target.  

2. Encourage sharing.

The sharing game has become a big hit. For instance, if Peanut had a doll then I would ask her if I could see it and reach my hand out towards the doll. At first she would dart away from me because she didn't want to give up her toy. I kept asking for toys all day long until curiosity won out and Peanut gave me a cup she was playing with. I smiled really big and thanked her for sharing. I admired the cup briefly and handed it back to her. Both girls caught on quick to this game. Soon I was given dolls, balls, hair, half eaten cookies, invisible objects, and socks. Each time I thanked them and praised them for sharing. This has also come in handy when a girl has something I don't want her having. I just ask for the lovely used band-aid Cookie found in the grass and she hands it over without a fight.

3. Physical fights are non-negotiable.

Once a disagreement turns physical we put the breaks on the situation. After the first punch, kick, push, slap, bite, or glass shattering scream I separate the girls and tell them in a calm yet firm voice, "No, we do not act this way." Then I put whatever was causing the fight away so that no one can play with it. If the girls throw a tantrum then I let them cool down alone for a few minutes. Once they show signs of being over the situation I redirect their attention to another toy or game. If you're noticing an influx of fights then they might be hungry or tired. A graham cracker and some juice does wonders for my girl's moods!

About to fight over a tablet.

Baby Beach Time: First Beach Trip Tips

  I love the beach and couldn't wait to introduce the girls to our wonderful Florida beaches. We are so spoiled where we live in Florida. We're an hour away from beaches, theme parks, and big restaurants. Since the girls are easily overwhelmed we decided on a low key beach. Fort DeSoto is a state park with a lagoon, concession stands, indoor showers, playgrounds, beaches, and bike trails. It's large enough that if one beach area looks too crowded then you can try another. We chose the beach with a lagoon so that the girls could enjoy the still waters. The waves made them nervous because they're so loud. Everyone enjoyed themselves so much that we spent all day at the beach!  

Here are some tips I learned from our first day at the beach with two one year old twins.

1. Apply your thick 50+ waterproof sunscreen at home before you leave while everyone is sand free and pack spray on sunscreen for later. You have to reapply sunscreen often especially if you're going to be in the water. Many vacationers think that waterproof means all day proof and end up looking like lobsters. I applied sunscreen on everyone four times during our one day trip and the girls were still a bit pink on their arms. Spray sunscreen is much easier to manage once everyone is covered in sand. It's also nice to use on baby's head without getting matted up in hair.
2. Skip the itty bitty bikinis. The more skin your baby shows the more sunscreen you have to apply. We have 50+ rash guards that protect a lot of skin. I have also seen zip up wet suits that are thin but offer sun protection. Sometimes my girls will wear a hat but it's hard to get them to keep it on. 
3. Pack lots of beach friendly snacks and water. Fruit is a great snack to pack because it also hydrates baby. I packed water, juice, milk, blueberries, cheerios, salty chips, and yogurt. Everyone had plenty of hydration, calories, salt, and protein. I luckily even packed extra tap water to help rinse off sippy cups that got dipped in water and sand. Make sure to take plenty of breaks and offer plenty of water to your baby. Read about signs of dehydration HERE.
4. Have some type of shade available to get out of the sun. I use the Shade Shack Instant Pop Up Family Beach Tent and Sun Shelter. It pops up and is anchored down with sandbags. Many people prefer umbrellas but I think they're a pain. The girls loved playing peek-a-boo around the tent and it was really nice to nap under when everyone got tired. 
5. Watch baby closely! The minute I plopped both babies down at the beach they grabbed a handful of sand, shoved it in their mouths, and started to wretch. Once I put them near the water Peanut dunked her head under the water like she does during bath time only to realize that saltwater burns eyes. I caught Cookie trying to chew on seaweed, a used cigarette bud, a shell, and a band-aid. You never know what they will find buried in the sand! She also thought that food tastes best after being dunked in seawater. 
6. I love washable swim diapers. Disposable swim diapers are very expensive! You can buy two adjustable swim diapers for $14 but a box of disposables costs $10 for 22. The adjustable ones will last me two summers while the box would last one month (we swim a lot in pools too). Make sure to pack an extra swim diaper for each baby so you'll have a backup if someone poops. 
7. Have comfy clothes and a bottle ready for the trip home. After being at the beach all day the girls were exhausted. We showered them off, got them in dry onesies and a dry diaper, and popped a bottle in their mouths. They fell asleep quickly and we all had a quiet drive home.

First Birthday Party Tips

  Cookie and Peanut have turned ONE! It's hard to believe that it's been a year since they were born. We originally wanted to do a Winnie the Pooh Birthday party but the cake I wanted from Publix was discontinued. I am so sick of pink that I could puke so I wanted to avoid any stereotypical princess themes. Instead we chose the stereotypical twin theme of The Cat In The Hat with Thing One and Thing Two. My local bakery made the cakes and my husband chose the flavors. They were lemon cakes with strawberry filling and we called it a strawberry lemonade cake. Both girls have a weird obsession with lemons and love strawberries.

 

 The smash cakes ended up being huge! We plopped a cake in front of each girl and just let them go crazy. Peanut dug into her cake like a wild animal and Cookie apprehensively poked at the icing. In the end Peanut looked like a smurf and we had to spoon feed Cookie her cake since she didn't want to get her fingers sticky. Everyone pooped in bright green colors the next day and weeks later I'm still randomly finding blue icing stuck to furniture. This has caused a small ant problem too but it was worth it! 

Here are some things I learned from our first twin Birthday party:

1. Keep it simple, short, and small. We had a small party with only close family members and made hamburgers and hot dogs for everyone. I didn't make party favors to hand out (a trend everyone seems to do now), I didn't bake the cake myself, and I didn't decorate my entire house for the party. The less stress you put on yourself the more fun you'll have.
2.  Watch out for baby sensory overload. My girls were so wired by the end of the party that bedtime was rough. They were full of sugar and wallowing in new toys so it was hard to get them to unwind. It helps if you don't start taking toys out of their packages until the next day and try to hustle out guests before bath time so there's time to relax before it gets too late. 
3. Have a plan for opening gifts. The girls were too young and lacked the patience to open all the gifts they got so I was stuck with opening their gifts. I hate the practice of opening gifts in front of a crowd. It's awkward, boring, and I personally don't like the attention. If gift opening is your thing than have fun! I wish we could have discreetly piled the gifts in a corner to be opened the next day. The girls and I were tired after cake and I found opening all those gift bags exhausting. 
4. Set aside a special time for the baby to open mommy and daddy's gifts. Twin girls are usually showered with gifts. People love buying them cute pajamas and loud toys so our special gifts can be forgotten easily. I learned from Christmas to have a quiet moment alone with the girls to open their gifts from us. It's now a family tradition!
5. Celebrate! It's a party. I tend to get caught up in serving others, washing dishes, and cleaning up messes. In the past my hosted parties passed me by while I hustled around making everyone else happy. I've learned to sit my butt down and soak in the party with everyone else. Leave the dishes for tomorrow.
6. Cover the highchair you plan to use for the baby cake explosion in plastic! I totally didn't protect our high chairs and now they are stained blue. I guess I have a permanent reminder of how delicious that cake was.

Kids Easter Baskets: Bring on the Candy!

  I'm annoyed with the trend where parents are omitting sweets from holidays. No chocolate bunnies on Easter, no candy hearts on Valentines, and no candy canes on Christmas. Instead they load Easter baskets with plastic toys and concoct gluten free carrot "cakes" dressed with organic coconut flakes. I feel for the parents of diabetic children. My family is riddled with type 2 diabetes and I feel so sorry for people born with type 1. It is a miserable and nerve wracking disease that I wouldn't wish on anyone. Luckily, the girls and I are healthy individuals who partake of sugar on a regular basis. GASP! Sugar before one year old!?! Many parents brag about their child's lips NEVER touching sugar until their first Birthday cake. First of all keeping sugar completely out of your kids mouth would be extremely hard. Fruits contain sugar so I guess you're not feeding your baby applesauce or juice. "But that's natural sugar, so it's ok." Sugar is sugar is sugar. Some is white, some is brown, and some claims to be organic all natural GMO gluten free but in the end your body does the same thing with it. Either your body burns the sugar for energy or it turns it into fat. I know I'm oversimplifying the process but many people over complicate food to the point that everyone's afraid to eat anything.
  So let me share my secret to enjoying sugar without becoming fat, diabetic, hyperactive, or [insert new bad sugar claim here]. Moderation. Oh, heaven help us someone is asking you to control yourself. Refusing your child any sugar is much easier than giving them the occasional treat. The first time I fed my girls chocolate ice cream you could see their faces light up. Unfortunately, this also became the girls first taste of disappointment. Once the small bowel was empty those little eyes filled with tears and a 20min tantrum ensued. If I refilled the bowl with more ice cream then I could have easily stopped the tantrum but I didn't want the girls to miss out on this important life lesson. Sometimes you can't have what you want. With every new treat the girls had to experience the disappointment of the treat running out. Every time I would show them the empty container, shrug my shoulders, and say "all gone."  Soon the tantrums stopped and now the girls enjoy shrugging their shoulders along with me when the bowel is empty. You can tell that they still really enjoy the sugar but it doesn't seem to have the same hold on them as it did in the beginning. Most of the girls treats consist of fresh or pureed fruit but occasionally we'll all share a piece of cake or chocolate pudding. I love the ritual of sharing dessert with my girls. We all giggle and smile after every bite. Everyone gets just enough to satisfy their sweet tooth but not so much as to cause a belly ache.
  I have seen the result of both letting your child overindulge in sweets and completely cutting them off from them. The child who has complete access to a kitchen full of Oreos is usually the token fat kid in class or will eventually grow up to become fat when they're not burning calories on the playground anymore. The child that is forbidden sugar will probably rebel the first chance they are given. It is human nature to want what we can't have and if the child has never been taught to manage their instinct to overindulge then they will go crazy when their parents aren't around to stop them. Ever see that kid at the Halloween party covered in melted chocolate and rubbing their belly while moaning for more candy? He had no idea how to handle himself around sweets. You can not shield your child from the world. The world is full of fattening fast food, sugar, and numerous temptations. They need to have the tools to take care of themselves when you're not around to hold their hands.

Enjoying a sugary popsicle.

  Tonight is Cookie and Peanut's one year Birthday party. They will be eating lemon flavored cake with strawberry filling topped with buttercream icing. Easter is next week and we will all share a Cadbury egg and enjoy a handful of jelly beans. I hope they enjoy every bite.

Why I don't like teething jewelry: Teaching a child "no".

  Peanut looks up at me with her big brown eyes, sticks out her bottom lip in an adorable pout, and reaches her tiny hands in the air for me to pick her up. Awe....I swoon. My baby wants to cuddle with me! I pick her up and hold her to my chest for a good hug. Then I feel a tug on my neck and a pinch. She has popped my necklace into her mouth and is chewing vigorously. Apparently, she spotted my shiny prized Tiffany locket from the floor and knew exactly how to get her mouth on it. This has been an ongoing struggle between the girls and I. They have broken one necklace and nearly swallowed a couple more. Some days I chose not to wear jewelry because I knew they'd scratch at my neck to get at it. I also thought about ordering some teething jewelry I had seen advertised online. "Look stylish without having your jewelry ruined by baby!"  

The Face

  One day while picking the girls up from my mother-in-laws (MIL) house Peanut started towards a ceramic mouse sitting on a shelf. My MIL says, "No, no. That's Grandma's." Peanut looks back at her grandmother then to the mouse. She turns away from the shelf and crawls towards a toy nearby instead. My jaw dropped. "They know 'no' already?" I asked. My MIL had been practicing "no" all day and the girls had caught on fast. She simply would repeat this phrase and gently pull the girl's hand away from the forbidden object. Eventually they got the message. I picked up Cookie and she immediately grabbed for my necklace. I gently pulled her hand away and said, "No, no. That's mamma's." She looked up at me with understanding and left my necklace alone. This opened so many doors for us. Now we didn't need to cover up the DVD case or close bathroom doors to avoid toilet paper mishaps. Why hadn't I thought of teaching "no" sooner? I thought they were too young to learn such an advanced concept but I had seriously underestimated their capabilities.

  We have created a culture of quick fixes. It would have been easy to buy that rubber jewelry rather than telling my girls no every time they reached for my necklace. People would rather buy child locks, close doors, and hide all their breakables than to watch their child closely and teach them to respect their environment. If your kid can handle a home without child proofing than it's much easier when you visit other people's homes. Not everyone will have a special toilet seat lock or a child proof door handle. Now I'm not saying you should leave your sewing needles out from your resent craft project or leave doors that lead to pools unlocked. Babies are fast and twins are twice as hard to juggle. I'm just saying you shouldn't rearrange your whole living situation when it's more logical to help the child adapt to how your home really is. If they respect your television at home than it is less likely for them to climb grandpa's television and get hurt. Children are capable of much more than we give them credit for.

Bottles, Binkies, Lovies, and Walkies

  My girls have only formed attachments to people and my dog. I have seen too many kids with a full set of teeth and a pacify in their mouth. I see children that can walk on their own but have a bottle dangling from their clenched teeth. There has also been a big stroller movement where kids that have far exceeded the weight limit on strollers are still being pushed around. If your kids knees are touching their ears so they can avoid their feet from dragging on the floor then they are too big for a stroller! If your kids teeth are biting holes through pacifiers and bottle nipples then it's time to take them away. I knew a kid who fell asleep at night with a bottle in his mouth. His teeth were so rotted that a dentist had to manually pull all his baby teeth out rather than let them fall out naturally.

  My girls are about to hit one year old and they have two bottles a day. One before nap time and one at bedtime. They don't seem particularly attached to their bottles but like the warm formula to nod off to. We introduced sippy cups at 6 months and have phased out bottles little by little. To keep the girls from becoming attached to the bottle we have followed a few rules. Once the baby has finished her bottle we take it away. We don't let them carry it around the room, we don't leave it with them at night or during naps, and we don't let them play with it. This has caused the bottle to become a bit boring in their eyes. Sippy cups and adult cups are much more interesting. They contain different flavors than the bottle and the girls like mimicking the older daycare children. Many parents complain that the bottle has become a big comfort for when the child is feeling insecure. When my kids are feeling insecure I hold them and comfort them myself. In daycare they usually attach to the main caregiver for security. Don't pop a binky in your child's mouth every time they cry and don't shove a bottle at your baby when they are being fussy. "But the hospital popped a pacifier in my baby's mouth and now we can't get rid of it." The NICU did the same thing to my girls to stave off hunger or to administer sugar water. Peanut had a heart condition that required a two day fast due to medicine requirements and the sugar water helped to keep the girls heart rate down when they became too manic. Once we got home I put the pacifiers away only to be used in emergencies like when we were stuck in traffic and couldn't give the baby a bottle. I threw all our pacifiers away at three months old.

NICU Pacifier

  To keep anyone from becoming attached to one toy or blanket I have been rotating everything when they become used to it. Why not let the baby get attached to a dolly or a blanket? I want the girls to develop their own coping mechanisms. I want them to be adaptable for inevitable changes in life. Dolly got chewed up by the dog? Oh, well. It's sad but it's not the end of the world. Grandma needs to take care of the babies because mommy has a major stomach flu? No big deal. Grandma doesn't have the same bottles, formula, or toys that are given at home but the girls are used to changing equipment. The girls feel secure at grandma's house because grandma makes them feel secure. We have even practiced separating the girls from each other so that they can cope with being apart. Cookie has more doctor's appointment because of her torticollis which leaves Peanut by herself at daycare. You can tell that Peanut is not being as brave about exploring the play area like she usually does but she isn't having a complete melt down about her sister's absence.

  I also don't like how long parents are keeping their kids in strollers now a days. Strollers have become such a crutch for parents to lean on. They all say it's because the child gets tired too quickly and needs to rest. If your child has been walking for a long time and needs a break than why not take a break? You sit down on a bench and people watch or have a snack. Walking is so important for a child's development and health. If you take your kid out to walk often then they will build the stamina to keep up with you later. In the end I think strollers for older kids is just pure laziness on the parents part. If your kid is in a stroller then you don't have to worry about them running off somewhere. You don't have to watch them as closely or teach them not to run out into traffic. Give the kid an iPad, strap them into a stroller, and forget about them for the next few hours. A lazy parent breeds a lazy child. Now parents can't figure out why their kids are all obese. Well if they don't walk anywhere themselves and you shove goldfish crackers in their mouths all day then what did you think would happen?

  Let your child grow up. Sometimes it's the parent that is attached to things and not the child. Keeping a pacifier in your kid's mouth will not slow down the aging process. Enjoy each stage of life and celebrate each milestone. You are not doing your baby any favors by holding on to every childhood habit. I personally can't wait to throw away our last diaper!

Twin Baby Girl's Do Disney World: Magic Kingdom Fun!

  We live in Florida and I love theme parks! It had been a while since I was able to go so we planned a Halloween Disney trip. I decided to buy tickets for the Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party at Magic Kingdom and booked a night at Disney's Port Orleans Resort.  The girls were only nine months old and I thought a shorter evening event would be better than a whole day at Disney. I also booked a night at the Port Orleans hotel so we could crash nearby rather than drive back home late at night. We dressed the girls as Minnie Mouse, I was Miss Piggy, and my husband was a Ghostbuster (boo Universal not Disney!). Here are some things that did and did not work for us on the trip.  All in all we had a blast but there are some things I'll take note of for our next trip.

Cookie Loved Minnie Mouse!

1. Disney dining is a good chance to practice baby restaurant etiquette. Disney dining staff is used to serving young children and there is a lot to keep them occupied during dinner service. We ate at the Liberty Tree Tavern which serves a family style meal that reminded me a lot of Thanksgiving. Peanut ended up eating a ton of food and fell asleep for the next two hours! 
2. Take the babies on rides. I was surprised about how many rides babies could participate on. Peanut slept though most of the rides but Cookie loved The Little Mermaid attraction. My only mistake was taking the girls on Dumbo. It had been so long since I rode on it that I didn't realize how fast it went. Peanut finally woke up on this ride but she pooped herself out of shock. No one cried but you could tell it was too much for them.
3. Enjoy the food but be careful because it's all so rich. I fed Cookie too much dessert at dinner and we paid for it the next day. I thought she'd never get it all out!
4. Park at Epcot and ride the Monorail to Magic Kingdom. We drove to Magic Kingdom from our hotel to avoid the bus transfer which can be tough with a stroller and can be slow. You have to take the extremely crowded boat or monorail back to the parking area of Magic Kingdom to get to your car but the Monorail to Epcot is practically empty. Once at Epcot you can walk to your parking spot and never stand in a line. This was the worst part of our trip. We waited an hour just to board the boat which seemed less crowded than the monorail but the girls were exhausted and cranky.      
5. We prefer the side by side stroller for theme parks or outdoor activities and the front/behind stroller for indoor activities. The side by side stroller worked well for the crowded Disney streets. It kept the girls close to us where as the front/behind stroller sticks one girl out too far into the crowd causing people to bump into her. We found the front/behind worked well for indoor shopping because it was more narrow and could fit between sales racks easier.
6. Take advantage of the Baby Center areas. They have high chairs, a tv playing movies, a kitchen, a quiet nursing room, and a changing room. It was a nice place to help the girls unwind from the sensory overload.
7. I was surprised at how much the girls enjoyed the hotel. Our room had a big king bed with fluffy bedding and the girls loved to roll all over it. We also enjoyed walking around the property which had some nice nature paths to meander through. We got a good deal by booking online with a Florida Resident/Fall discount. Off season hotel stays can be pretty reasonable so keep checking their website for deals.

(Universal Orlando tips coming soon.)

How to make life easier and more enjoyable with twin girls.

  No singleton parent will be able to complain to me about how hard it was having one infant in the house. You worry if they've had enough milk after throwing it up all over themselves (do I give her more now?). You worry if you've spent more time with one compared to the other. When did she poop? Is she breathing? Did I just give Cookie two bottles? Did I remember to feed the dog yesterday? Luckily I have a very patient husband who can handle high levels of stress on very little sleep. We devised a schedule that helped us through the tough baby sleep patterns (read STTN) but once everyone was getting enough sleep I had trouble getting out of newborn survival mode. Below are my top tips that made things easier for everyone.

1. Let it go.
   So it's Independence Day and I just got everyone all dressed up to see the family. The girls were wearing red and blue outfits with white ruffled butts. I special ordered the outfits from Etsy and probably spent too much on them. Just as we were walking out the door Peanut spit up all over the front of her outfit. I was in tears. We were running late and now we had to strip her, wash her, and find new clothes all while her sister became increasingly cranky at being ignored. Everyone showed up to the party a bit miffed. After this scenario repeating itself over and over again I've learned to let go of what we can't control. This is so hard for me because I'm a complete control freak. I just take a breath and tell myself, "Your going to be late, they'll get over it, and tomorrow this will be funny." 
2. Don't be a perfectionist.
   After getting the girls home from the NICU I was very concerned with keeping everything neat and tidy. I wanted the girls to always look cute in case visitors stopped by, I didn't want my gray hair to show, and I wanted my house presentable. This literally nearly drove me insane. After breaking down and crying because my husband left a t-shirt on the floor we decided I needed an intervention. I was terrified of becoming a sloppy dumpy mother with a house that looked like a playpen. I had seen many pictures of high school friends on Facebook who fell into that lifestyle so easily that I thought it must be a trap. My husband reassured me that letting the dirty dishes sit for a while would not turn me into a fat slob and people would find Peanut cute even if I had missed a button on her onesie. I learned to not be so hard on myself and to slow down a bit.
3. Slow down!
   I had become the master of multitasking. I could juggle cooking dinner, packing lunches, mixing bottles, and cleaning the kitchen all while dancing a jig to entertain the girls. By the 8pm bath time I was beat. One night while wiping down high chairs at around 7:30pm I looked over at my husband dancing with Cookie and realized that I hadn't actually spent any time playing with my babies that day. I had barely spoke to my husband. In fact, the only time I was spending with my family was the nightly bottle right before everyone fell asleep. I had become so concerned with knocking out everything on my to-do list that I was becoming an estranged mom. After this depressing realization I decided to have more takeout nights to free up my evening schedule. I also handed some tasks off to my husband and allowed the high chairs to become a little sticky. I even traded in my lunch time gym workout for an afternoon walk in the park. Slowing down my obsessive routine made me a happier and more gentle person. 
4. Laugh about it.
   Cookie pulled out some moldy bread from the trash can and fed it to Peanut. Disgusting? Yes. Funny? Also yes. My mom didn't realize that I had poured used peanut oil from a turkey fry into an empty juice container and filled the girls sippy cups with it. Disturbing and worrisome? Yes. Funny? After looking up the health effects of drinking a bit of watered down peanut oil and learning that the girls intestines would not explode, yes. They had gross smelling turkey sweat for days though. Peanut pulled her newly pierced earring out with a sippy cup mid car drive home. After finding it caught in the ruffles on her butt and cleaning off all the blood I poked the earring right back in. Heck if we were going through another piercing session! I guess this is highly frowned on so please talk to the piercing place about what to do when this happens. One week later Peanut got her other earring out and we still haven't found it. Funny? Not yet but maybe it will be some day. Laughing about crazy situations relieves stress and can help you to move on. I have a tendency to dwell on problems but laughing it off is a good way for me to let it go (see #1).   

Good Eaters: Twins Eat Everything

  I was branded a picky eater at a young age by my family and friends. It took years of food therapy and building a better relationship with food before I shook the name "Nikki Picky". I'm now only branded a sugar fiend so I guess that's progress. After what I went through and seeing this new generation of obese yet picky eaters I was determined to make sure my babies had a good diet foundation. I guess we have succeeded as far as my views on diets is concerned. Daycare workers tell us that our girls are the best eaters in class. Our physicians claim the girls are developing nicely and are right on track with their weight. People gawk at us in restaurants as our tiny 10 month old girls sit quietly in their high chairs eating broccoli and fish off my plate. Are we just blessed with well behaved healthy eaters? Are baby behaviors determined on a lottery system? No.

  When people ask us how the girls have become such good eaters my husband likes to ask, "How do you get to Carnegie Hall?" Practice....Practice...Practice...and with babies patience helps. This is how we've mastered restaurants as well. I love eating out and thrive on big family dinners. The sooner I could get the girls accustomed to this the better. At around six months we started with rice cereal and baby food. No big surprise here but we also would occasionally offer a taste of whatever we were eating. I got the girls in high chairs as soon as they could hold their heads up on their own. We used the high chairs for every meal and I tried to extend meal times little by little. Some days the girls would only sit for a few minutes while other days lasted 15 minutes until they became comfortable with our eating pace (my husband and I eat slow and talk a lot during meals).

  We didn't entertain them during meal times because I didn't want this to be associated with playtime. I think that's how you get kids running around restaurants like rabid animals. Once some teeth came in we offered the girls bites of what we were eating. Soon they were eyeing our plates and eagerly opening their mouth for whatever we stuck in. Did they like everything we stuck in their mouths? NO! Cookie gagged at the taste of plantains and Peanut spit out strawberries. The next day I would offer Peanut strawberries again. She spit them out again. For the next two months I randomly offered her strawberries and she usually just gave me a raspberry. Then one random day she just started eating them and now she eats them all the time. Through this method the girls have acquired a taste for many things they first turned down. They also love trying new things. We have made sure to praise trying new food and have never allowed consequences for refusing food. If Cookie spits out her green beans then we just leave them on the plate and move on to the rest of the meal. We don't frown, we don't chastise her, and we don't force her to eat more. I also don't offer a load of alternatives to the green beans though. If I make green beans, chicken, rolls, and a dessert then that's what we all eat. If Cookie doesn't want her green beans tonight then she'll probably eat the rest of her meal. If she didn't eat much at all that night then she will be hungrier in the morning for breakfast. That will be a good opportunity for me to feed her a few new things because she is hungry and more willing to eat healthy food.

  Breakfast was also a great start to our restaurant training. Babies are usually in a better mood at the start of the day and more patient. I always bring Cheerios just in case service is slow and maybe some teething rings. The girls ended up really enthralled with the waiters, people sitting around them, and all the noise. We also aimed for family restaurants at first because they're already loud. Now at 12 months old we can take the girls just about anywhere. They've ate at buffets, pizzerias, ice cream parlors, and nice sit down dinners. Dinner seems to be the hardest to handle for them. They aren't as hungry in the evening and are usually tired so we try to keep it short. We have yet to have a melt down and need to leave the restaurant. My only problem is that we do leave a mess by the end of the meal. Not all food makes it into their mouths at this age. Peanut will bring food up to her mouth but let go too early. I guess that will also come with practice.

Sisterly Love? The Twin Bond

So after all the media hype over twins being born while holding hands or hugging I was anxious to see my girls special twin bond. Unfortunately, the media has lied to me yet again.

Twin Sister Bond Experiment #1: After getting both girls home I excitedly placed them next to each other to watch the magic unfold. Within seconds Peanut grabbed her sisters arm and tried to nurse! Cookie screamed, I unlatched Peanut, and then she started crying too. Experiment fail.

What I learned: Newborn infants do not play well together. They will scratch, lick, latch onto, and kick whatever is within reach.

Twin Sister Bond Experiment #2: For Christmas I got the girls beautiful (and expensive) French made dolls. The dolls were the same shape and design but with different colored outfits on. They both adored their tiny dolls and spent minutes (that's forever in baby attention span time) tracing the doll's face and chewing on the fingers. I thought they could bond over their shared love of their dolls and put them each in a Bumbo facing one another. I gave each girl her own doll and watched. Cookie started chewing on her doll's hat while Peanut bounced her doll up and down. Then Cookie noticed Peanut's doll bouncing up and down. Witchcraft! How is sister's doll doing this?!? Cookie flung her doll to the side and grabbed for Peanut's doll. She managed to grab the dolls hat and started pulling. After realizing her doll was being kidnapped, Peanut squealed at her sister and grabbed the dolls foot. I decided to stop the baby tug of war and gave Peanut her doll then gave Cookie her own. Cookie screamed in anger at me giving her sister a clearly superior doll and Peanut was still crying from the tug of war. No one wants to play with their dolls anymore. Experiment fail.

What I learned: Babies do not instinctively share things very well. They are selfish little things who are very fickle. They also lack empathy. The first time Peanut laughed at Cookie crying I thought that I must have little meanies on my hands. Now I sort of miss those empathetic days where only one baby cried at a time. At around 8 months old if one girl started crying the other will drop what she's doing to join in. My hearing will never be the same.

Twin Sister Bond Experiment #3: Now that the girls are crawling and playing independently I am able to place them in a playpen without needing to entertain them. One day as they played quietly I decided to get some dishes washed. I could see the girls from the sink so they'd still be supervised. After about 5 minutes of washing I heard a high pitched yell followed by angry crying. I could see little eyes peering over the playpen at me. I rushed over to see Cookie standing on Peanuts head. She was  using her sister's head as a sort of step so she could see over the playpen. They had to be separated the rest of the day because Peanut squealed anytime Cookie looked at her. She was so mad! Experiment fail.

What I learned: A lot of baby shenanigans can happen in just 5 minutes.

Twin Sister Bond Experiment #4: One day I was running late getting dinner ready. The girls are used to eating at 6pm and it was 7pm (that is three days in baby time). I put them in their baby walkers with some teething rings while I got everything ready.  They both started fussing and ramming their walkers into my shins. After throwing dinner in the oven I realized that it was way too quiet in this twin baby home. Both girls were near the trash can randomly giggling and Peanut was chewing on something. Cookie had gotten her little hand into the top of the trash can and found some moldy bread I had thrown away. She was tearing off pieces of bread and putting it in her sisters mouth. Both girls found this hilarious! After gagging a little I rushed over and gathered up all the moldy bread to throw away again. Both girls cried in protest of me ruining their fun game. In the coming weeks Cookie makes a game of shoving a whole slew of things in Peanuts mouth including her own fingers, string, dog toys, Ziploc bags, leaves, and dirty socks. Peanut giggles, gags, and giggles even louder. Sisterly twin love has been found!

What I learned: Babies are gross.